I suffer from the unfortunate condition (according to some) of being single at the age of 25 in Utah. I personally have no problem with it. I wouldn't have wanted, and definitely wasn't ready, to be married before this point anyway. But one thing I DO wish I didn't have to deal with is dating.
I don't like it at all. In fact, I'm quite willing to come right out and say I hate dating.
Maybe it's because first, second and even third dates are always awkward as you work your way through the, "So where are you from? Where did you go to school? How many people are in your family?, etc. etc. etc, " questions. Or maybe it's the creepy, weird guys who always ask me out. Or it could be the jerks who get my hopes up and then disappoint me. Maybe it's all the ridiculous blind dates I get set up on. Or maybe it's the fact that I've been dating for almost 10 years and I'm over it. Or it could be all of the above.
Unfortunately, my single status being what it is, I have to keep doing it. Because, despite my seemingly bitter attitude, I really do want to get married, have a family and spend eternity with someone. Really.
However, I DO think that in my years of dating I've earned the right to be a little picky and have some expectations -- and I don't think they are that unreasonable. But the more I date the less guys seem to know the proper way to do it. So, in an effort to help them out a little, I bring you:
5 Simple Rules for Dating Kat
1. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT ask me out via text message. I like texting, I do. But guys, it is not an appropriate method of asking for date. I know its scary and intimidating to ask a girl out, I get that. But a text message is not the way to solve that problem. You're much more likely to win impressiveness points by having the guts to make the call.
2. Make a Plan. Don't leave it up to me. I don't like it when someone says, "so when is a good time to go out?" and/or, "what do you want to do?" No, No, No. YOU wanted this date, not me. So YOU need to at least suggest a day, suggest a plan, etc. (you can give me options, for example, "would Thursday or Friday work?") and I will tell you if that's good for me. But be a man and at least make an effort to plan something.
3. Open doors for me. This one is pretty simple. I appreciate it, and I feel respected when you open a car door, or a restaurant door for me. It's nice. It's mature. It's respectful. And it's really easy to do.
4. Don't drag a date out just for the sake of dragging it out. When the planned activity of the evening is over, just take me home! I don't know why people seem to think that a date has to last until midnight to be a success. I don't care if it's 9:00 when you drop me off. If there is nothing more to do, then I prefer it! There is no need to drag it out and try to fill the time! If it wasn't a great date, then thank goodness it's over! If it WAS a good date, then you left plenty to do and talk about for the next one.
(**I'm not saying you HAVE to have me home by 9:00, I'm just saying, if it happens to end at 9:00, it's ok!)
5. Don't try to buy my love. It bothers me when guys give me things in an effort to win me over. I know that sounds strange, but it doesn't impress me. Don't get me wrong, I do like having a guy do nice things, bring me flowers, etc.--but it all depends on the intention. If you're bringing me flowers simply because you care about me (meaning there is probably already an established relationship) and want to show it, I love it. But if you're bringing me flowers in the hopes of getting something in return (i.e. getting me to like you, a kiss, a second date....) it really annoys me. Win me over on your own merit, by being a good person and letting who you are speak for itself. Flowers and gifts and such come later.
So, those are my rules. Maybe I'm on a soap box a little, but again, with almost 10 years of dating behind me, I kind of feel like I've earned it.
Oh and one more thing.....
After another recent experience, along with my rules for dating I am instituting a new policy, effective immediately.
NO BLIND DATES
None. Not with anyone. Ever. I've had enough. I don't care who you are and I don't care who he is. My answer is no. So don't even ask.
5 comments:
Love it! You should write a book. Plus I agree with the prolonging the night. I hated that!
I love your rules. If only it were politically correct to walk around with them taped to your head or stated on your voicemail; life would be bliss.
Hey I am so with you on the buying love thing!! I had a guy take me to Lagoon once and try to win me everything and buy me everything! It was so NOT impressive, because one what do I do with all that junk? and two how do I have fun and ride the rides carrying all that junk?
I loved this post, Kathryn. I haven't got into blogging myself, even though some friends have been pushing me in that direction...but I wanted to say that I enjoy reading other friends' blogs and I can't agree with you more. Blind dates are not fun (most of the time) and I like the other five rules. SImple, yet needed to be said, and I'm a guy! :)
I LOVE blind dates. . . that is how I met the love of my life! So as I know blind dates are not always easy, but if you always say no you may miss out on the love of yours ;) Plus I do love setting you up when I have a guy! Glad I came across your blog, I miss ya!
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